It so happened that in the great and noble city, Shikaakwa of the heartlands, there lived a great knight called MArakesh. He (or she seen as the character is in fact female) was never taken seriously enough due to his large debts in the world store when he bought one to many skill rawrs. Poor marakesh. But marakesh had an amazing idea!
It was his sole dream to make everyone adore him and so he set himself two aimsin his snow bandit-ish lfe: first, he would become the greatest player ever in sacred seasons and second, he would win the heart of the beautiful bjbinty, who lived in the tower beneath the pidgeon next to jona, the keyholder.
But all was not well, she (even though her character is male) was locked away day and night by her evil uncle, venom2009, who didn't even have a cool name, for shame! He was evil and kept her Under lock and key (with some coding help from jamiegy3 aka malkin71).
The key was broken into many pieces and they were hidden about the heartlands. Marakesh wept as his true love would never be able to marry him.
but then! There was a great recession as jamie lent too much money to people who just couldn't pay it back. Not only did mara become good in everyones eyes again (as by this time everyone was in debt) but the evil venom2009 became bankrupt. To salvage this situation he would need to make money and so he decided to sell his daughter to the best player on sacred seasons.
So venom set up a competition and mara, remembering his ambitions decided he would do something about it. So he set about grinding away. At lvl 400 he overcame the ancient god, Xerg, and continued to lvl. He passed jeremy87 and wavie, even benetnasch couldn't keep him away. Mara jumped up lvls - so much was his desire to reach bjbinty. However the almighty glutamine, goddess of beauty and general awesomeness stood in his way.
She reached lvl 700 ahead of him and he began to think that all was lost! But then she became inactive and he siezed the moment and swept past her.
Mara had become the highest lvl player in the history of sacred seasons. The world wept with joy.
He returned from a PGA completion, gold in one hand and a ton of exp in the other. He reached venom and pronounced himself as marakesh the great, worthy of the hand of bjbinty the smexeh!
But there was one final test, to put back together the key to the tower!
Mara was stuck for ideas so he went to the castle of jamiegy3, hidden behind the lies and deceitful webs of hampster's lair in the plagued grounds. Having broken hamp's astral travels and torn down her home, mara approached jamie.
He begged him for coding to piece together the key to bjb's tower but jamie said it would come as a great sacrifice. Marakesh would have to destroy his leadership and honour and lose 100 lvls. What's more, mara would have to say he had hacked and used programmes as the reason why he had been docked.
With a heavy heart, he accepted the offer and lo! Jamie took off his lvls. Marakesh returned to shikaakwa with the key that he had been handed on the way by jamie's 'maker of keys to things' Ellis_owns the reporter and beta-tester ( :O ). He strolled up to the tower and opened the door. The beautiful bjb ran to him and went right through him (why can't SS have a hug feature?! :S ).
Finally, mara pvped venom to death in one hit and, when respawned, venom had lost all his Ill-deserved gold again (ha!)
and so marakesh and bjbinty lived smexehly ever after.
There concludes a tale of the heartlands written by officeface the pinky-ful.